Asus banned offensive language – note for Czech stuff

This note was distributed in the Czech office of computer peripherals manufacturer Asus Corp. in Ostrava:

Asus note to Czech stuff on odffensive language

It has been brought to our attention by several officials visiting our office in Ostrava that offencive language is commonly used by our Czech speaking stuff. Such behavior, in addition to violating our policy, is highly unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and stuff. All personnel will immediately adhere to the following rules:

1. Words like “kurva, kokot, do pice” and other such expressions will not be tolerated or used for emphasis or dramatic effect, no matter how heated a discussion may become.

2. You will not say “zkurvil” when someone makes a mistake, or “srali na mne” if you see someone being reprehended, or “hovno” when a major mistake has been made. All forms and derivations of the verb “srat” and “jebat” are utterly inappropriate and unacceptable in poyu environment.

3. No project manager, section head or administrator under any circumstances will be referred as “kurva sikmooka, kokot, buzerant or hajzl”.

4. Lack of determination will not be referred to as “srac” or will person who lack initiative be referred to as “chuj”.

5. Unusual or creative ideas offered by management are not to be referred to as “kokotiny”.

6. Do not say “poser me” if somebody is persistent, do not add “vymrd”, if a colleague is going though a difficult situation. Furthermore, you must not say “dojebali sme to” (refer to item 2) nor “na toto jebeme” when a matter became excessively complicated.

7. When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say “jdi do pice” nor should you ever substitute “May I help you?” with “co do pice chces?”

8. Under no sircumstances should you ever call your elderly industrial partners “zkurveny dodavatel”.

9. Do not say “jdete do pice s tou kokotinou” when a relevant project is presented to you, nor should you ever answer “jsi se asi posral” when your assistance is required.

10. You should never call partner representatives as “jebnuty curak or zkurveny hajzl”.

11. Last but not least, after reading this note, please do not say “polibte mi prdel”! Just keep it clean and dispose of it properly.

Thank you.

4 thoughts on “Asus banned offensive language – note for Czech stuff”

  1. Tak to musi byt radost tam delat…musi tam na sebe vzajemne donaset.Jsou to zkurveni curaci.

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